{"id":76584,"date":"2019-05-05T14:40:59","date_gmt":"2019-05-05T13:40:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/flashpacknew.wpengine.com\/?p=76584"},"modified":"2023-03-20T09:29:22","modified_gmt":"2023-03-20T09:29:22","slug":"life-in-your-30s","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/solo\/wellness\/life-in-your-30s\/","title":{"rendered":"These 7 words perfectly sum up the reality of life in your 30s"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>These phrases exactly capture the beautiful struggle of life in your 30s (including why your 30s are better than 20s).<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In an interview <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vogue.co.uk\/news\/article\/emma-watson-on-fame-activism-little-women\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">with <em>Vogue<\/em><\/a>, Emma Watson talks about her decision to &#8220;self-partner&#8221; herself in her 30s.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I was like, \u2018Why does everyone make such a big fuss about turning 30? This is not a big deal [&#8230;] Cut to 29, and I\u2019m like, &#8216;Oh my God, I feel so stressed and anxious,'&#8221; says the Harry Potter star, who turned 30 this April.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B4e-Pq2pVvh\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"12\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:500px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\">\n<div style=\"padding:16px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B4e-Pq2pVvh\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;\" target=\"_blank\"> <\/p>\n<div style=\" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\">\n<div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;\">\n<div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;\"><svg width=\"50px\" height=\"50px\" viewBox=\"0 0 60 60\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" xmlns:xlink=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/1999\/xlink\"><g stroke=\"none\" stroke-width=\"1\" fill=\"none\" fill-rule=\"evenodd\"><g transform=\"translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)\" fill=\"#000000\"><g><path d=\"M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631\"><\/path><\/g><\/g><\/g><\/svg><\/div>\n<div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\">\n<div style=\" color:#3897f0; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\"> View this post on Instagram<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\">\n<div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\">\n<div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"margin-left: auto;\">\n<div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div>\n<div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div>\n<div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/a> <\/p>\n<p style=\" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B4e-Pq2pVvh\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;\" target=\"_blank\">\u2764\ufe0f???<\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\">A post shared by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/emmawatson\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px;\" target=\"_blank\"> Emma Watson<\/a> (@emmawatson) on <time style=\" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;\" datetime=\"2019-11-05T12:35:26+00:00\">Nov 5, 2019 at 4:35am PST<\/time><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And I realise it\u2019s because there is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around. If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you\u2019re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you\u2019re still figuring things out\u2026 There\u2019s just this incredible amount of anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It took me a long time, but I\u2019m very happy [being single],&#8221; she adds. &#8220;I call it being self-partnered.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Watson is not the only one to reflect on the tumultuous forces at play in your 30s \u2013 and to coin a term for it. Here are six other words that capture a turbo-charged sensation of change, along with other realities churned up in life&#8217;s most dynamic decade to give you a taste of what to expect in your 30s.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Why 30s are the best years<\/h2>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Being un-alone<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76654 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Person in their 30s leading someone else by the hand\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-exploring.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>With the world&#8217;s single population at a point of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.economist.com\/international\/2012\/08\/25\/the-attraction-of-solitude\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">unprecedented growth,<\/a> being single is moving from a life stage to <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/relationships\/travel-living-alone-single-women-want\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a state of being<\/a>. But (as Watson suggests) it&#8217;s only when you hit your 30s \u2013 with higher disposable income and a greater sense of self-awareness \u2013 that you can really appreciate this shift.<\/p>\n<p>Pre-30s, you&#8217;re too busy struggling to pay rent\/prove yourself\/climb the ladder to question any <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/relationships\/marriage-overrated-living-single\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">culturally conditioned ideals<\/a>. You simply assume that one day, you&#8217;ll probably &#8220;settle down&#8221; and this will be A Good Thing.<\/p>\n<p>In your 30s, however, you become more discerning and sure of yourself: and this transformation gives you <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/relationships\/women-happier-single-men\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a renewed appreciation<\/a> of the joys of being alone; <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/relationships\/being-single-better-age-freedom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a freedom<\/a> that, ironically, makes you very &#8220;un-alone&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>In a 2017 thought piece for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vogue.co.uk\/article\/being-single-at-30-a-vogue-memoir\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Vogue<\/a>, journalist Bella Mackie recalls how she spent her 20s frantically looking for a partner, regardless of whether &#8220;this was the relationship I wanted, or if I was merely seeking any relationship&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76692 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"A long tent of people celebrating at night\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-wedding-venue.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>However, Mackie&#8217;s 30s signalled a dramatic sea-change in how she viewed herself and her life. &#8220;When Stevie Nicks was asked about being on her own, she gave one of the best answers I\u2019ve ever heard,&#8221; Mackie recalls: \u201cPeople say, \u2018But you\u2019re alone.\u2019 But I don\u2019t feel alone. I feel very un-alone. I feel very sparkly and excited about everything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This quote chimed exactly with Mackie&#8217;s own experience, who continues: &#8220;Without the societal pressure that previous generations were under to couple up, us single people no longer have to worry about having children out of wedlock or having sex without a ring on our finger [&#8230;] we are increasingly given the space to make true friends and to choose a path without having to compromise with a partner.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That could feel daunting, but for me, the joy of choosing my own routine feels like a luxury to be savoured. I can stay up writing late into the night. I can book a holiday where I only lie by the pool. I can run all morning, if I choose. And I do.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Second adolescence\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76672 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man.jpg\" alt=\"A person backlit by the sun - the reality of life in your 30s\" width=\"1620\" height=\"912\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man.jpg 1620w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Happy-man-810x456.jpg 810w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1620px) 100vw, 1620px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s not to say being in your 30s is all sweetness and light, though. This is a period when you start to question your choices across all areas of life \u2013 which can spark off some pretty dramatic changes.<\/p>\n<p>A newfound sense of clarity, coupled with force of &#8220;real life&#8221; pressures (you know, the kind where you&#8217;re not downing vodka at 3am) means you may well start to unpick the life choices you previously had down as dead-certs.<\/p>\n<p>For example, you might decide that the shiny accounting career you vaulted into straight out of college is not that satisfying after all; and what you really want to do is retrain as a freelance illustrator. Or you break up with your partner of 10 years and move into a flatshare (figures show that the number of housesharers aged 35-44 has risen <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/money\/2015\/sep\/25\/flatsharing-40s-housing-crisis-lack-homes-renting-london\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">more than 186%<\/a> in the past decade).\u00a0Fuelled by tales of <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/careers\/secrets-digital-nomad-working-travel\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">digital nomads<\/a>, you may choose to <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/travel\/travelling-alone-relationships-happiness-quit-job\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">quit your job<\/a> and go travelling for a year; checking in at the hotel of mum and dad in order to save cash.<\/p>\n<p>Whether it&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/careers\/career-break-sabbatical-tips-advice\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a career break<\/a>, a country move or <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/relationships\/how-to-deal-with-a-break-up\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a relationship break-up<\/a>, these changes can feel regressive. They also conjure up the exact kind of tumult and uncertainty that adolescence once brought about.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76698 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"A silhouette of a person in their 30s in front of fairground rides at sunset\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Santa-Monica-pier.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I feel like I have experienced a regression,&#8221; Jude Peppis-Clay, a 30-something mum who split up with her son&#8217;s father and moved back to hometown in Hampshire, tells <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stylist.co.uk\/long-reads\/thirties-30s-life-crisis-second-adolescence-milestones-career-baby-marriage-property\/301289\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Stylist magazine<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;In our 20s, it was OK to not have everything figured out. It was OK to be in an entry-level job, a house share, dating several people and struggling with finances. But by the time we reach our 30s, we\u2019re expected to have sorted that stuff out.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I know I haven\u2019t. I took a step back in many aspects of my life when my relationship fell apart and, although there\u2019s no regrets there, I do sometimes feel like I have slipped back down the ladder of life.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>The Swerve<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76666 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"A swerve road sign in front of a rocky landscape\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/The-Swerve.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The fact is, just like adolescence the first time round, these changes represent real and lasting growth. But that doesn&#8217;t stop the stomach-lurching sensation that they trigger.<\/p>\n<p>This process of figuring out how to be a &#8220;proper grown-up&#8221; \u2013 equating where you thought you would be in your 30s with where you actually are, and making big decisions \u2013 is something New York writer Rachel Syme captured exactly in <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/wellness\/30s-life-change-decisions-the-swerve\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">a viral tweet<\/a> earlier this year about what to expect in your 30s.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I feel like 33-38 is a really tough age for a lot of women I know,&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/rachsyme\/status\/1151600357291827202\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Syme wrote<\/a>, in a stream of consciousness that expressed how she felt as she woke up on her 36th birthday. &#8220;Feels like so many big decisions and future plans have to be squeezed into this lil window; just me?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It\u2019s not just a baby decision which, yes, is huge in those years and looms over everything. It just feels like all my friends this year are doing this huge reevaluation of everything. It\u2019s a time of lurches and swerves.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76710 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"A silhouette of a rollercoaster\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Rollercoaster.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Like I don\u2019t know who needs to hear this but this morning even though everything in my life is really good, I woke up and realised it was my birthday and started to cry,&#8221; Symes continued. &#8220;I mean, could be hormones or heat! Or the world. But! It\u2019s a weird time.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Anyways, if anyone is either floating in this strange miasma, or has emerged from it and wants to share your advice from the other side, I would love to hear it. A birthday gift to me!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Syme&#8217;s description of &#8220;the swerve&#8221; struck an immediate chord with other 30-somethings on Twitter, and the writer was bombarded with people sharing their own stories of big decisions at an unspoken time of change.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I feel like nobody talks to you about what it\u2019s like to be this age,&#8221; Syme <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bbc.co.uk\/news\/blogs-trending-49189565\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">later said<\/a>. &#8220;We have the youth; spunk, energy, beauty, and there\u2019s so many things people feel like they must do \u2013 but where are the conversations about all of the big decisions we need to make?&#8221;<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Hanxiety and JOMO<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76660 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Life in your 30s - a person with a bowl of popcorn and a remote control\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-woman-relaxing-on-a-sofa.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>However, anyone hoping to drown their decision anxiety in tequila will be disappointed, since drinking comes with a major price in your 30s. This isn&#8217;t just hearsay, either: science shows that hangovers do actually <a href=\"https:\/\/www.irishexaminer.com\/breakingnews\/discover\/why-do-hangovers-get-worse-in-your-30s-890287.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">get worse<\/a> in your 30s, through a combination of physiological and lifestyle factors.<\/p>\n<p>Levels of alcohol concentration and dehydration increase but also, &#8220;as people approach 30, lifestyles often become more stressful,&#8221; GP Clare Morrison, of the pharmacy MedExpress explains. &#8220;Pressure from careers, mortgages and young children can affect sleeping and eating patterns, making one less resilient to the effects of alcohol.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This lowered tolerance leads to a surge in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/lifeandstyle\/2019\/jan\/27\/hangxiety-why-alcohol-gives-you-a-hangover-and-anxiety\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">hanxiety<\/a>: the post-drinking state of guilt and stress. All of which makes JOMO \u2013 the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/gb\/blog\/happiness-is-state-mind\/201807\/jomo-the-joy-missing-out\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Joy of Missing Out<\/a> \u2013 more deliciously enjoyable than ever before.<\/p>\n<p>As producer Michael November Name points out in <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Home_Halfway\/status\/1114198604573499392?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&amp;ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fkatangus%2F30s-tweets\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">this brilliant tweet<\/a>, drinking goes from &#8220;hell yeah let&#8217;s go out all night and go straight to work&#8221; in your 20s, to &#8220;dear diary, I had a beer last month. I&#8217;ve had a hangover for two fortnight. I fear this is the end&#8221; in your 30s.<\/p>\n<p>This brutal U-turn means you may well find yourself curled up on the sofa in sweat pants at 8pm on a Saturday night; and loving every minute of it. &#8220;I love being in my 30s,&#8221; Jacqui Collins, an LA-based PR director shares in another <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/jacquicollins_\/status\/954875521820778496?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&amp;ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fkatangus%2F30s-tweets\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">on-point tweet<\/a> on the topic. &#8220;I get messages from my friends like &#8216;oh god I&#8217;m in a club&#8217; and I&#8217;m like &#8216;oh god no&#8217; while I&#8217;m home eating string cheese.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The frenetic fear of missing out that propelled you between parties and club nights in your 20s is replaced by a blissful acceptance of &#8220;Netflix and chill&#8221; minus any innuendo. And the transition brings about staggering levels of relief.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>\u00a0So-No and dating in your 30s<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76648 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"A narrow street with a sign saying &quot;heart's content&quot;\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/A-street-in-Canada.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>As writer Carolyn Kuang-chen Stanley explains in a column for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.purewow.com\/wellness\/dating-in-your-30s\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">PureWow<\/a>, dating in your 20s is often governed by a sense of &#8220;so-so&#8221; partners and prospects. &#8220;A good chunk of my 20s was ruled by on-again, off-again situations that weren\u2019t healthy or fulfilling, but that I was nonetheless afraid to let go of,&#8221; she says.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;[&#8230;] I\u2019d been honest with myself, it was pretty clear that those relationships didn\u2019t have a future from the get-go,&#8221; she adds. &#8220;Now that I have more perspective, I\u2019m better at seeing if something\u2019s worth sticking out\u2014or if I\u2019m better off abandoning ship early.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Your 30s can be your best years for dating, you have the inner security to call time on things that aren&#8217;t working out; and this skill is especially useful in the ephemeral world of dating. If someone continually keeps you hanging, or a relationship just isn&#8217;t working out, you&#8217;re more assertive at cutting loose. You&#8217;re willing to say no to a genre of &#8220;so-so&#8221; dating that&#8217;s ultimately fuelled by self-doubt.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-76704 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"Dating in your 30s - a couple sitting together on a bench\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-500x281.jpg 500w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-952x536.jpg 952w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-1136x640.jpg 1136w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-1012x568.jpg 1012w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-1152x648.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night-810x456.jpg 810w, https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Date-night.jpg 1620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>This change also represents a move towards <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/my-pleasure\/201910\/intuitive-dating-center-self-care-and-avoid-burnout\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">&#8220;intuitive dating&#8221;<\/a>, whereby you really think about the intentions of what you&#8217;re doing, while also limiting the time you spend on it. This means you conserve energy and keep the focus on yourself, handily swerving the all-too-common experience of <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.flashpack.com\/solo\/relationships\/stop-dating-connect-people-travel\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">dating fatigue<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No matter what your ultimate dating goal is\u2014finding one or more primary partners, looking for casual connections\u2014it\u2019s vital to set and hold that intention,&#8221; NYC-based therapist Julia Bartz writes in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/my-pleasure\/201910\/intuitive-dating-center-self-care-and-avoid-burnout\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Psychology Today<\/a>. &#8220;[&#8230;] his is not to say that you can\u2019t change your mind. But if you do, check in with yourself and make sure you\u2019re excited about the prospect instead of settling\u2014and therefore taking time and energy away from your ultimate goal.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Self-care is also important, she says: &#8220;Many people unconsciously see dating as an excuse to treat both their partners and themselves well: nice meals, nights out, gifts, and more. But being single is an excellent opportunity to learn about how best to care for yourself, by treating yourself as kindly as your ideal partner would.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Images: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@johanneswre?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Johannes W<\/a>, \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@photos_by_lanty?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Photos by Lanty<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@jeremyperkins\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Jeremy Perkins<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@pedrojvelascoz?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Pedro Velasco<\/a>,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@timberfoster?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Tim Foster<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@dineslav?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Dineslav Roydev<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@jeshoots?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">JESHOOTS.COM<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@fbazanegue?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Fabien Bazanegue<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@tjholowaychuk?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Tj Holowaychuk<\/a> on Unsplash<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>These phrases exactly capture the beautiful struggle of life in your 30s (including why your&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":76685,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9038,9044,9045,9041,9032,9030,9040],"tags":[2328,107,5671,4416,342,464,433,443,489,434,2329,460,436,498,457,836,582,93,955],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76584"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=76584"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76584\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/76685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=76584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=76584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=76584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}