{"id":31210,"date":"2019-02-10T11:23:40","date_gmt":"2019-02-10T11:23:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flashpacknew.wpengine.com\/?p=31210"},"modified":"2023-05-11T09:49:41","modified_gmt":"2023-05-11T08:49:41","slug":"10-life-lessons-to-excel-in-your-40s","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/solo\/travel\/10-life-lessons-to-excel-in-your-40s\/","title":{"rendered":"10 life lessons to excel in your 40s, by adventurer Ed Stafford"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hailed as \u201ctruly extraordinary\u201d by Sir Ranulph Fiennes and \u201cBritain\u2019s most intrepid hero since Scott of the Antarctic\u201d\u00a0<\/a>, adventurer Ed Stafford hit the record books after becoming the first man to walk the Amazon. The deadly journey took two and half years and, now a Discovery Channel documentary, ignited a career in solo adventure.\u00a0Ed continues to travel and film all over the world, surviving in some of the most hostile environments on earth, for TV shows Naked and Marooned and Left For Dead to his upcoming series First Man Out.<\/em><\/p>\n

This is Ed Stafford\u2019s Flash Pack column, written once a month from somewhere remote and halfway across the planet. Probably. Enjoy the read\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I think it’s fairly common to think that you\u2019re constantly at your peak of life wisdom. In my 20s, as a young platoon commander, I thought I could take on the world. When I turned 30, I looked back on my twenty-something-year-old self and cringed at his manner and his decisions. What a complete prat. In my 40s, I guess I\u2019m still a way off being my very own Yoda but I guess I have more life experience than ever before, especially with a career in adventure. Whether 40 is the new 30s is still up for debate, but here’s what I\u2019ve learned so far; my 10 life lessons to excel in your 40s.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d be naive to think I won’t continue to grow and that they won\u2019t have changed in a decade\u2026<\/p>\n

1. Always wear sunscreen<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Just kidding \u2013 in-fact the age-old adage is not much more than a salesman\u2019s con.<\/p>\n

Sunscreen just encourages extended exposure to the sun. I personally think there is little more healing than a good bout of sunshine, and if you feel you’re even slightly at risk of burning then cover up or get out of the sun!<\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t sweat the small stuff<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

After years of having \u201cattention to detail\u201d drummed into me in the military this is a hard<\/i> one to let go of.<\/p>\n

But, as much as I used to love the fact that I was anally retentive with regards to precision and took pride in my professionalism, I now find that (like many of my ex-military colleagues) I just need to chill out a bit.<\/p>\n

When someone causes me to be late for a party and I feel my blood begin to boil, I just breathe deeply and smile. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? No it doesn\u2019t. Be late and be proud of your new-found nonchalance.<\/p>\n

No one likes an uptight stress-monger.<\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t fixate on the goal<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Okay, so, yes, blinkered stubbornness has got me a long way in life (and I certainly wouldn\u2019t want to discredit being focussed and determined) but to do so at the expense of everything else creates lots of problems.<\/p>\n

The main one is that everything becomes a mere stepping stone to achieving your goals \u2013 whether that be a person or event. If all you care about is arriving, then they are either helping (reduced to a means to an end) or they are hindering (and so have to be removed or destroyed).<\/p>\n

Of course, we all want to excel in life \u2013 but by simply stepping back and enjoying the journey (people and experiences) you diffuse the bomb and the tension goes away.<\/p>\n

Read more:\u00a0Men, this is why you should travel solo on a group adventure<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

4. Which leads me neatly onto: Don\u2019t try and fix everything and everyone<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

My definition of stress is the gap between how you want the world to be and how it actually is.<\/p>\n

And stress is a killer \u2013 so to be constantly thinking that \u201ceverything will be better if only X<\/i> happens\u201d is to resign yourself to a life where you will be in a tense and restless state until X<\/i> happens.<\/p>\n

The older I get, the more I try to just accept things as they are. That doesn\u2019t mean that you can\u2019t have goals or want change. But it does mean that you have to accept fully the world the way it is right now before you try and positively influence it.<\/p>\n

5. You are what you eat<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Anyone joining me embark on the trudge through the foothills of this seasoned decade may agree that you can\u2019t \u201cget away with it\u201d any more.<\/p>\n

Youth is full of forgiveness and your elastic body would spring back into shape time and time again even after poor food choices.<\/p>\n

Recently, I had a blood test and it would appear those choices are catching up with me and punching me in the stomach. From heart attacks to cancer \u2013 the risks are getting higher with age but it’s not too late to have a massive impact on those likelihoods.<\/p>\n

Supplements aside, the single most significant thing that one can do to stave off chronic illness (aside from shedding the stress above) is to eat healthily. So, fill your plate with colourful veg and choose your meat wisely as you really do have the ability to heal yourself from the inside.<\/p>\n

6. Practice \u201cprogressive overload\u201d<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t intervene, post-thirty, the older you get, the weaker you become. Fact.<\/p>\n

Just look at all the old-age-pensioners in the Olympics \u2013 exactly \u2013 there aren\u2019t any. But it doesn\u2019t have to be that way. Ross Edgely\u2019s amazing book ‘The World\u2019s Fittest’<\/i>\u00a0describes a simple theory of \u201cprogressive overload\u201d.<\/p>\n

Basically, if you do the same old exercise or run every day for the next five years you\u2019ll stagnate. Obviously if you decrease<\/i> your training you\u2019ll get weaker and fatter. But if you make tiny, incremental improvements (in weight, repetitions or speed) in your training EVERY<\/i> time you train then, even in your 40s, you will continue to get fitter, leaner and stronger.<\/p>\n

And, at a time when all your mates are growing Dad-bellies, who doesn\u2019t want that?<\/p>\n

Read more:\u00a010 ways to develop your life skills with adventure travel<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

7. Don\u2019t wait to enjoy your retirement<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

My Dad died at 56. My next two best mate\u2019s fathers died at similar ages. Granted they had to endure a lifetime of processed food and meditation hadn\u2019t been reinvented then, but it could, literally, all be over tomorrow.<\/p>\n

My Dad was from an era when men were dutiful. He forced himself into the office day after day, month after month, year after year. He died in his mid-fifties of lung cancer, leaving his wife and us two kids in our early twenties.<\/p>\n

He never smoked a cigarette in his life. Plan if you want. Invest in pensions if you want. Organise your retirement home if you really have to (you nerd) but please don\u2019t do any of it at the expense of living life to the full today. Being too tired when you come home from work to play with the kids isn\u2019t acceptable. Sort it out.<\/p>\n

8. Retain your identity<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/h3>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve got really into \u2018I\u2019m a Celebrity\u2026\u2019<\/i> this year and we\u2019ve started to cut out dairy products.\u201d<\/p>\n

If this is you \u2013 please collectively walk off a cliff whilst holding hands. If you find yourself starting more sentences with \u201cWe\u201d than with \u201cI\u201d you\u2019ve lost yourself and you need help. I\u2019m not anti-strong, lifelong relationships \u2013 quite the opposite \u2013 but they weaken when people loose themselves and become dull as dishwater.<\/p>\n

Read more:\u00a0My 30s life: why I’ve stopped looking for perfection<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

If your partner doesn\u2019t like you spending time doing the things that you love to do then ask yourself does he\/she have your best interests at heart? The best analogy I\u2019ve heard of a marriage is that its like a harbour. A ship is safest in harbour, and returns to harbour for refuelling and repairs, but a ship is built to sail.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t feel guilty if your passion takes you away for a bit, your relationship and the people you care about should support and nourish you, not restrict you.<\/p>\n

9. Wife\/husband before kids<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

As a somewhat crass young man the saying ‘chicks before mates’ would get hurled around the changing rooms if someone had their priorities confused.<\/p>\n

And, at the time, such loyalty to male friends was appropriate and thus formed very strong lifelong friendships. But in a world so stained by divorce and split families I think it’s all too easy to slip into loving your kids more than your other half.<\/p>\n

On an instinctual level, you start saying things like, \u201cmy life feels more meaningful now\u201d or \u201ceverything revolves around the children\u201d but if this is happening I think you may have trouble ahead.<\/p>\n

Neglect your partner at your own peril. As a man in the UK, loose her and you might as well say goodbye to your children (weekends if you’re lucky) and your house. So make the shift away from the changing room taunt before it\u2019s too late.<\/p>\n

Hold onto yourself of course (see point eight), but the most important relationship always has to be that between you and your spouse. And for that to last the years \u2013 you have to also be passionate.<\/p>\n

10. Keep laughing<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Humour never undermined anything in my opinion. You could take the gravest scenario in the world and I\u2019d argue that humour had a place.<\/p>\n

The sick jokes that crawl out of the woodwork far too quickly after someone famous dies are just a public display of resolve and of (as the Royal Marines would say) \u201ccheerfulness in the face of adversity\u201d.<\/p>\n

I find the moment when I loose my sense of humour is a signal that I\u2019ve lost composure and am worrying to a detrimental degree. Step back, laugh at the situation or at yourself, and absorb fully that life without laughter is not a full and happy life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hailed as \u201ctruly extraordinary\u201d by Sir Ranulph Fiennes and \u201cBritain\u2019s most intrepid hero since Scott…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":69431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9029,9035],"tags":[107,1246,4352,543,410,558],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31210"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31210"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31210\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/69431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}