{"id":25657,"date":"2019-02-06T00:00:11","date_gmt":"2019-02-06T00:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flashpacknew.wpengine.com\/?p=25657"},"modified":"2023-04-18T16:58:50","modified_gmt":"2023-04-18T15:58:50","slug":"ageism-begins-at-40","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/solo\/relationships\/ageism-begins-at-40\/","title":{"rendered":"Ageism begins at 40 \u2013 and I\u2019m mad as hell"},"content":{"rendered":"

You associate ageism with discrimination against the elderly, but Andrew Dickens thinks turning 40 is when the prejudice kicks in<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Hello. My name is Andrew and I\u2019m 44 years old. This is not only a fact, but one that it would be literally impossible to avoid unless I\u2019d met with an unfortunate fate before last October (the 8th, in case you\u2019re thinking of sending me a present this year).<\/p>\n

And yet I still feel squeamish saying it (or writing it). I feel uncomfortable revealing my age. My genetically, chronologically determined age.<\/p>\n

I feel uncomfortable stating a fact of\u00a0time<\/em>. That\u2019s because, even in a world with an ever-older population, I feel that my age will be judged, that I\u2014a man with all his hair and most of it not grey\u2014will be a victim of ageism.<\/p>\n

As I sat nursing a hangover and \u2018Christmas pudding baby\u2019 on Boxing Day this year, I read that the UK was \u201ccompletely and institutionally ageist\u201d according to the chief executive of Care England<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Now, he was talking about a much older age group than I occupy\u2014and, to be fair, very serious issues around welfare\u2014but when I saw the headline, I thought, \u201cYes! Yes, it is!\u201d Because I, a year younger than George Foreman was when he became heavyweight champion of the world<\/a>, feel the spectre of ageism haunting me.<\/p>\n

I feel that, to some, I have one hoof in the knacker\u2019s yard.<\/p>\n

Too old, but not old enough<\/h3>\n
\"a
(A gathering of 40-somethings and their careers, according to some people)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019m lucky in so far as most people don\u2019t think I look as old as I am (see hair comment), but the reaction when I tell them how old I am is always a cocktail of surprise and pity.<\/p>\n

Like, \u201cWow, you don\u2019t look that old,\u201d but also, \u201cWow, that\u2019s really old, are we capable of having a meaningful conversation? And would you like to sit down?\u201d<\/p>\n

I got a whiff of it in my late 30s, but once you get a 4 at the front of your age, you\u2019re viewed completely differently.<\/p>\n

Visit the gathering place for armchair medieval rabbles that is Twitter and \u201845-year-old white bloke\u2019 is snidey shorthand for anyone out of touch with the modern age (cue people thinking me disliking Twitter is a sign of being out of touch).<\/p>\n

It\u2019s balls, of course, and I have the pristine, early-adoption usernames to prove it \u2014 but it persists in a very particular way.<\/p>\n

Saying things are ‘balls’ is also not a sign of being out of touch.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not old enough to be despised for causing Brexit or buying all the houses for 15p in the 1970s (those people don\u2019t care what anyone says, because they\u2019ve got all the houses), but old enough to be mocked if you, say, try to enter the cultural territory of 20-somethings \u2014 and not old enough for it to be \u2018fun\u2019 if you do.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re not gammon, it’s not malicious, we\u2019re just not supposed to be there somehow.<\/p>\n

This isn’t new. Forty has always been seen as the gateway to middle age.<\/p>\n

I can easily imagine the 17-year-old me\u2019s internal organs removing themselves from my body before heading to the nearest food-blender and committing an act of self-disintegration had my parents come at me brandishing Nirvana tickets, praising the lyrical genius of Kurt Cobain, and telling me to mind the cat while they went out for a mosh.<\/p>\n

But new music is something you possess by generation. Memes are not.<\/p>\n

Change is possible<\/h3>\n

\"man<\/p>\n

I understand that ageism also affects young people<\/a>. A lack of experience and a baby-smooth face can make it harder to find a job.<\/p>\n

The crack in the door is too often narrower than their foot. But in my realm, I\u2019ve seen a lot of experience replaced by youth because a) you can pay younger people less and b) people older than me think that only people younger than me can work the internet, where journalism now lives.<\/p>\n

Because people over 40 can\u2019t adapt, right? They\u2019re not capable of learning or a career change?<\/p>\n

Again, it\u2019s balls, but it\u2019s balls that seeps into your conscience. All the stereotypes do. They inject you with self-doubt. It’s poison.<\/p>\n

You start thinking that you are too old to change<\/a>, which is how grumpy old people are born: the world is changing and I\u2019m not supposed to change with it, so I\u2019ll just resent it instead.<\/p>\n

But do the maths. I\u2019m 44. I\u2019ve been working full-time since I was 22 and as a journalist since I was 28.<\/p>\n

So my current career is 16 years old. In 16 years, I\u2019ll be 60 and lottery win aside, still working. The way things are going, I\u2019ll probably be working at 76. So, theoretically, I could have another two<\/em> careers<\/a> and<\/em> be really good at them.<\/p>\n

Stereotypes are for schmucks<\/h3>\n

That\u2019s not all. I could have a gap year if I wanted. I could travel the world<\/a>. I could move abroad. I could take up competitive video gaming. I could learn an instrument. I could invent<\/em> an instrument. I don\u2019t have to have kids. I don\u2019t have to start watching Discovery Channel shows about lumberjacks<\/a>. I don\u2019t have to wear slippers (though I do, because what kind of madman wouldn’t?).<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have to be defined by my age.<\/p>\n

And I don\u2019t have to listen to what other people say. If you\u2019ll pardon my language, to goshdarned heck with the negative stereotypes. I can\u2019t do anything about what people think, but I can know, deep in my 44-year-old heart (still going strong) that they\u2019re wrong.<\/p>\n

Damn it, I’ll out-youth many a 20-something; I’ll out-run, out-dance, out-drink<\/a> them. Then I’ll have a nice sit down in my slippers.<\/p>\n

And yes, I know that there are people who suffer far, far worse prejudice and discrimination. I\u2019m not gay, black, trans or a woman, for example. But that still doesn\u2019t make it ok. These preconceived opinions still affect lives, still impact careers and mental health. So away with the whataboutery.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also in the interest of younger generations to see 40 as nothing but another number\u2014because that clock doesn\u2019t stop for anyone.<\/p>\n

And that is not balls.<\/p>\n

\"woman<\/p>\n

Three trips where you can kick ageism into touch:<\/h3>\n

Hitting the limits in Jordan<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Do 40-something past-it has-beens go canyoning through ravines and waterfalls? They do on this trip. Not to mention camel-riding and taking the ‘back door’ route to Petra.<\/p>\n

Go on then<\/a><\/p>\n

Dine out on Chile gone barmy<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Do 40-something past-it has-beens trek all day through Torres Del Paine National Park to the Base Las Torres viewpoint? Do they go glacier-sailing and white-water rafting? YES. YES. YES.<\/p>\n

Heck yes, sir<\/a><\/p>\n

Crush expectations in South Africa<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"work\"<\/p>\n

Do 40-something past-it has-beens hike to the summit of Table Mountain, then abseil back down it? Do they go seal-swimming and bungee-jumping? You know the answer.<\/p>\n

Sign me up<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You associate ageism with discrimination against the elderly, but Andrew Dickens thinks turning 40 is…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":80405,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9032],"tags":[3399,492,389,768,491,148,436,3397,437,498,93,3398,453],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25657"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25657"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25657\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80405"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sandbox.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}