Not only that, but romance often just appears, with zero effort or investment from its protagonists. Blink in a Christmas movie, and you will find yourself on the receiving end of a mistletoe smooch\u00a0\u2013 maybe even a marriage proposal, too.<\/p>\n
They’re just a bit of fun, of course, but as author\u00a0Mandy Len Catron<\/a>\u00a0points out in her book,\u00a0How to Fall in Love with Anyone<\/a>,<\/em> such films are problematic and create false expectations. They fuel the fallacy that romance will complete you.<\/p>\n Here we use Catron’s approach<\/a> to break down four major myths that are endemic in Christmas movies. Enjoy!<\/p>\n Myth no. 1: true love “just happens”<\/strong><\/p>\n In Christmas movies, love just happens to people \u2013 like a joyous gift dropping out of the sky.\u00a0Often they barely have to exchange a word for sparks to fly.<\/p>\n In\u00a0Love Actually<\/em>, Laura Linney uses mostly telepathic means to communicate feelings for the elusive Karl, while Colin Firth doesn’t even speak the same language as his amour <\/em>of choice. Meanwhile, the one with the crush on Keira Knightley drops no more than a reluctant few nuggets of language her way.<\/p>\n Naturally, this glaring lack of chat doesn’t stop any of our star-crossed lovers from falling heavy and hard.<\/p>\n In real life, true love requires far more nuance. If it happens at all, it occurs on a complex cross-section of happenstance, availability, enthusiasm and mutual desire. And conversation is kinda key.<\/p>\n Sure, this version is more work than simply\u00a0chasing down a lover in our pants during a gentle snowstorm (thanks, Bridget Jones’ Diary<\/em>).<\/p>\n But it also gives us agency. Unlike the movies, real-life romance\u00a0puts us back in the driving seat.<\/p>\n Rather than passively waiting for a meaningful glance to erupt into something more carnal, we can each decide what we want from relationships \u2013 and actively seek that out.<\/p>\n Myth no. 2: there’s only kind of true love\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n According to Christmas movie love, man and woman fall in love, perhaps have some sex and then live happily ever after.<\/p>\n There’s probably some dramatic apex in this story, too. In\u00a0While You Were Sleeping<\/em>, it’s Sandra Bullock falling for the wrong brother (spoiler alert). In\u00a0Miracle on 34th Street<\/em>, the mum is a bit of a workaholic \u2013 and cynical about Father Christmas to boot.<\/p>\n In A Long Kiss Goodnight,\u00a0<\/em>the love interest turns into a bloody-thirsty assassin for a while.\u00a0But even here, love wins out in the end.<\/p>\n The problem is, it’s all a bit limiting. There’s no room in movies for the vast and evolving nature of true love.<\/p>\n In real life, love is diverse in all meanings of the word, but particularly in its essence. It might mean great sex. Or fantastic friendship. Or a shared sense of ambition and purpose. Rarely is it all these things at once.<\/p>\n True love is a shade of grey that’s constantly changing over time: and therein lies its appeal.<\/p>\n Myth no. 3: true love is a done deal<\/strong><\/p>\n In Christmas movies, the story ends with a couple getting together, or back together (Bruce Willis and his missus in\u00a0Die Hard<\/em>).<\/p>\n Fate has intervened, and now the romance is firmly on track\u00a0\u2013 thanks to the greater Forces That Be.<\/p>\n Love then presumably rolls out in a linear and non-problematic way.<\/p>\n We never revisit these couples a few years down the line. Otherwise, we might find a whole riot of issues bubbling beneath the surface.<\/p>\n Sure, we see a glimmer of martial tension emerge in Love Actually,\u00a0<\/em>when Alan Rickman does the dirty on Emma Thompson; <\/em>but even here, it’s implied that they patch things up.<\/p>\n In reality, that magical first kiss or “I do” moment is just the beginning of the story. The real work of love\u00a0\u2013 and the rewards\u00a0\u2013 unfurls beyond that, in a multitude of small choices, heartbreaks, complications and bumps in the road.<\/p>\n Christmas movies provide us with the start-up pack on love, but zero guidance on the hard bit: how to make it last.<\/p>\n Myth no. 4: true love will complete you<\/strong><\/p>\n The biggest culprit of all when it comes to Christmas movie myths is the notion that true love will, in some way, complete you.<\/p>\n In reality, our life problems don’t just fade away when we meet that perfect person.<\/p>\n As we know by now, the “right” person likely doesn’t exist anyway. Relationships are a never-ending task list of empathy, compromise and hard, hard work.<\/p>\n It’s not a case of finding someone you click with, and then waltzing off into the horizon together.<\/p>\n But even when a relationship is<\/em> great, it’s no magic elixir. It won’t make you any less in debt, or less hungover or less resentful of your job\/relatives\/successful friends than you ever were.<\/p>\n Funny though, because Christmas movies would say that it does.<\/p>\n We nearly always see the main character a bit lost (Colin Firth,\u00a0Love Actually<\/em>),\u00a0 lacking in personal ambition (Sandra Bullock,\u00a0While You Were Sleeping<\/em>), isolated (Edward Scissorhands<\/em>), or borderline maniac (Bruce Willis, Die Hard<\/em>) before love comes along and rescues them.<\/p>\n In real life, a partner won’t validate you. They can’t.<\/p>\n True love doesn’t bring growth or self-awareness…. only Hugh Grant as the prime minister can do that.<\/p>\n JOKES. Only you can.<\/p>\n Images: YouTube, Flash Pack, Shutterstock<\/em><\/p>\n Forget love and jump aboard these Flash Pack escapes<\/strong><\/p>\n Gallop free in the Argentinian Andes<\/strong><\/p>\n Make like a gaucho with a horseback ride in the wild Andean foothills, trek through the spectacular scenery of Patagonia and vineyard-hop by bike between the Mendoza wineries.<\/p>\n Saddle up<\/a><\/p>\n Sail down the Mekong in Laos<\/strong><\/p>\n Hop on-board for a leisurely two-day boat ride down the Mekong River, the lifeblood of Laos. Take a street food safari around Bangkok and white-water raft in the North Thai highlands.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/perfect.jpg\")
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