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What these people fail to understand is that marriage is no longer an elixir for happiness. In fact, it never was.<\/p>\n
It’s just that now, with more of us living single<\/a> than ever before, we’ve finally getting wise to the fallacy of the Bridget Jones stereotype.<\/p>\n Being single does not make you sad and hankering after love. To the contrary, it may be the key to a long and joyous life. Here’s why:<\/p>\n Reaching a ripe old age<\/strong><\/p>\n The exact impact of being single on longevity has yet to be studied in detail, mainly because of a historic – and arguably exaggerated – analytical bias towards the benefits of marriage<\/a>.<\/p>\n But anecdotally, a surprising number of the world’s oldest people credit their vitality to being single.<\/p>\n Read more: Meet the woman, 74, who traded love for lifelong travel<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Whenever anyone asks\u00a0Madeline Dye, a 106-year-old woman living in Yorkshire, about whether she has a husband (yes it still happens, even to centenarians),\u00a0she replies<\/a>, “I’ve never had one, that’s why I’m this age.”<\/p>\n “She says she has not had the stresses of marriage,” adds Madeline’s niece, Diana Heaton.<\/p>\n Then there’s Emma Morano of Verbania, Italy, who lived to 117 years old – making her\u00a0the oldest<\/a> documented person in the world before her death last year.<\/p>\n Like Madeline, Emma credited her vigorous health to being single; she left an unhappy marriage in 1938 and flew solo ever since. Despite a slew of suitors, “I didn\u2019t want to be dominated by anyone”, she said.<\/p>\n The world’s “super-solo” societies<\/strong><\/p>\n Maybe it’s no coincidence that Japan<\/a>, which famously holds the world’s\u00a0highest life expectancy<\/a>,\u00a0\u00a0is on-course to become a “super-solo society” of 50%\u00a0single people<\/a>.<\/p>\n Similarly Sweden, currently the world’s single living capital<\/a>,\u00a0 also boasts one of the highest life expectancy rates<\/a> in the world.<\/p>\n Longevity in both countries is often attributed to factors such as a prevalent fish diet and close community ties.<\/p>\n But, at a time when we are only just skirting the surface of what it means to live single, could living single play a role, too?<\/p>\n And if so, *how* do the unique lifestyle factors of singledom impact on a longer life?<\/p>\n Consistency is key<\/strong><\/p>\n Psychologist Bella DePaulo<\/a>\u00a0has spent years studying single life, and often points to the\u00a0Terman Life-Cycle Study<\/a>\u00a0to refute the stereotype that marriage helps you live longer.<\/p>\n One of the most thorough longitudinal studies into longevity ever to have been conducted, this vast body of research followed the lifecycle of subjects from 1922 through to 1986.<\/p>\n Read more: Why women revel in the ritual of being single<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Of the 1,528 people studied, it found two distinct groups lived longest: people who stayed married and people who stayed single<\/a>.<\/p>\n “People who divorced, or who divorced and remarried, had shorter lives,” Bella writes, in Psychology Today. “What mattered was consistency, not marriage.<\/p>\n “The results were the same for the men and the women.”<\/p>\n Given we are conditioned to resist change<\/a> of any kind – and divorce is one of life’s most stressful events<\/a>\u00a0– this is perhaps not surprising.<\/p>\n But don’t forget, this study was conducted a long time ago, when it was less socially acceptable to live single; and simultaneously, we knew less about it.<\/p>\n Read more: Why spending time alone makes us happy<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n There are now a few important reasons why living single may bring even greater longevity and happiness than marriage – divorce or no..<\/p>\n The social factor<\/strong><\/p>\n Having a strong network around you is not just a “nice to have” in life – it’s critical to health and wellbeing.<\/p>\n Just as loneliness can be as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day<\/a>, so people with strong social relationships can increase their chances of survival by up to 50% over a long-term period<\/a>.<\/p>\n Reaching out to those around you – friends, family, neighbours, strangers on the road – will prolong your life.<\/p>\n And single people are more likely to instinctively fulfill this need.<\/p>\n A 2016 study from Boston College and the\u00a0University of Massachusetts<\/a>\u00a0found that single people\u00a0are more sociable<\/a>\u00a0than their married counterparts, and more likely to reach out to those around them.<\/p>\n “Single individuals are more likely to frequently stay in touch with, provide help to, and receive help from parents, siblings, neighbours, and friends than the married,” the researchers conclude. “Being single increases the social connections of both women and men.”<\/p>\n Married people, by contrast, have a greater tendency to be insular (as anyone who has ever lost a friend<\/a> to a new relationship knows well).<\/p>\n When you’re single, you’re more likely to reap the serotonin boost that comes with everyday social interactions.<\/p>\n And this holds a profoundly positive impact on life expectancy.<\/p>\n The power of autonomy\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Let’s turn now to a close neighbour of strong relationships: happiness.<\/p>\n Research shows that happiness not only leads to a higher quality of life, it can also prolong that life<\/a>, too.<\/p>\n “We had expected that we might see a link between how happy people felt over the day and their future mortality, but we were struck by how strong the effect was,” says UCL psychology professor Andrew Steptoe, the lead author of a major study on the topic.<\/p>\n Read more: Solo travel gets rid of a major stressor<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n When we drill it down further, we see that autonomy is a key proponent of said happiness<\/a>.<\/p>\n This makes sense when you think about it. Of course, we are all happier when we have a sense of control over our lives; whether that’s determining how we live or having freedom to perform our jobs properly (rather than being micro-managed).<\/p>\n And – you guessed it –\u00a0single people enjoy\u00a0greater autonomy and personal growth<\/a>\u00a0than their married counterparts, according to research.<\/p>\n This autonomy is particularly important to women, who – historically and culturally – have seen their independence curtailed via marriage.<\/p>\n “I\u2019ve always been a very, very independent person,” says skincare entrepreneur Linda Rodin<\/a>. “I loved being in relationships with wonderful and really interesting men. I just never felt the need to marry them. I never felt convinced.”<\/p>\n Roll on, resilience<\/strong><\/p>\n There’s another level at play here, too: resilience.<\/p>\n Some experts are now coining resilience as\u00a0the new happiness<\/a>, because it’s solid, long-lasting and teaches us to bounce back (unlike happiness itself, which can be fleeting).<\/p>\n Read more: Why Japan is a dream destination for solo travellers<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n “We\u2019re drawn to identity-markers and to groups that help us define [ourselves]. In the simplest terms, this means using others to fill out our identities, rather than relying on something internal, something that comes from within,” says\u00a0psychoanalytic theorist\u00a0Matthew Bowker<\/a>.<\/p>\n “You have to have that capacity: the ability to know that you\u2019re gonna survive, that you\u2019re gonna be okay if you\u2019re not supported by this group.”<\/p>\n When you live single, you’re more likely to cultivate this key element of grit and self-reliance.<\/p>\n A brave new world<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"being](\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/old-friends.jpg\")
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