– \u201cI have travelled primarily solo for over 6 years now and find it incredibly hard at times to find mates or be invited to a group. It seems like the girls get it easier when it comes to that parameter when travelling. That is just my perspective though, but also makes me break open my bubble more.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n – \u201cIt can be hard being a lone male. A lone female is always going to be approached, either by groups (male, female or mixed) or individuals. That doesn’t happen anywhere near as often with a lone male. It’s harder to meet people but not impossible.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n – \u201cThe climate has changed. It\u2019s difficult to approach men and women if you are a single guy traveller. Different cultures, different customs, but a lot of people have their guard up these days.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Andrew, 32, who I interviewed for this piece, shares similar sentiments to the last comment: \u201cI think that people do shield themselves more nowadays. You can\u2019t really say how you feel anymore, the world is too scared to offend. But that may come with being older \u2013 when you are younger you have less regard for your actions and have a different approach in certain settings.”<\/p>\n Andrew, who cannot remember the last time he broke the ice with a stranger abroad, says the idea is something that has so far put him off solo travel (\u201cI would not have the confidence to try \u2013 and suspect it may be deterring other men from doing so\u201d). However, he believes his partner may be less phased in the same situation: \u201cShe is a confident person and more comfortable in certain situations,\u201d he adds.<\/p>\n Could it be, as those Facebook comments allude to, that females really are more readily accepted by other travellers and groups when they\u2019re alone than men would be in the same situation?<\/p>\n \u201cI see the logic in that,\u201d says David, 37, \u201cbut then I\u2019ve always found that women put themselves out there a bit more – my female friends have tended to want to explore and embrace their independence than my male friends. I myself have often struck up conversations with other guys on holiday, although I would say from my experience this has been more common and simpler when part of a larger group. While on my own, I would still be willing to strike up conversation, but I\u2019d be more reserved.”<\/p>\n Ultimately though, David believes the pluses outweigh the negatives and that men shouldn’t be put off making friends, even into their thirties and beyond: \u201cI think much depends on if you\u2019re an introvert or extrovert to begin with,\u201d he adds. \u201cIf you\u2019re confident, comfortable and naturally talkative it\u2019ll come naturally, but you should try.”<\/p>\n Nick, 32, is another man who has tended to thrive in groups, but also sees the difficulties with making pals as a man: \u201cPerhaps because I\u2019ve worked at places with a big social element I\u2019ve found making friends quite easy, but I do find it harder to chat to other people when I\u2019m travelling alone,”\u00a0he confesses. “Maybe it\u2019s a macho element of not wanting to put yourself out there and seem a bit foolish if somebody doesn\u2019t reciprocate.<\/p>\n “Phones don\u2019t help, either, adds Nick. \u201cYou\u2019re sat next to someone at a bar and it\u2019s hard to strike up a natural conversation when they\u2019re glued to their phones. And I\u2019m guilty of that, too, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n He’s not wrong. Walk into any bar or hostel and you can bet if there is a solo traveller, they’ll be burying their heads in a device, constantly connected, never switched off. So tight is the stranglehold phones have on travel experiences now, and so increasingly reliant have we become on their features (e-tickets, AirBnB, Google Maps, Uber, camera, etc.), they also act as a private barrier, both for us and strangers, a way for us to zone out, or simply deal with any crippling unease when surrounded by groups of people. Simply put: as well as all the other angst of making friends in unfamiliar environments, has the power of technology eroded our confidence in social situations?<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/man-travel-tokyo.jpg\")
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